I have been so very fortunate to do some traveling over the past couple of years in search of small waves, good friends and a cold beer. For those memories I will always be grateful. Always.
What I have come to realize lately though, is that no matter how far you go that unless you are having fun, and enjoying life, then it is really no fun at all. I guess you take you wherever you go. If you are unhappy, well that goes, and if you are sad, you take that on the plane too, and if you are lucky enough to be happy and at peace, well then that trip, will be the best.
Although I have enjoyed all of my travels, and wouldn’t trade them for the world, some of my best trips have happened within just a few hours of my own home. Although I have traveled to New Zealand, Santa Cruz, the Bahamas, Florida and many other great places, my greatest escape has been to a small beach in Rhode Island where I have been fortunate enough to paddle out against Mother Nature, myself, my Self and the great Atlantic.
In this very local, very cold, very rocky, mostly unknown break, I have worked out my feelings towards the Universe, the cold water and everything in between. I have been allowed to be someone else ever so briefly, every time I surf, I am not me. Every time I pull into the wet, bumpy parking lot of this unknown break I am granted a free pass to be someone else. For this brief time I can be whoever I want.
Me, is anxious, nervous, moody and not really willing to take chances. When I make this trip I get the chance to be someone else. I get to be someone who surfs in cold water in Block Island sound, in a rocky reef, with far better surfers than I will ever be. I get to be whatever and whoever I want, so I paddle out, take chances, and go home happy. As I stand on the shore I almost always, chicken out, almost. It takes everything in me to put my board in the water. I guess in that way I am not your average surfer. Unlike most, I pray for small waves, a calm break and very few witnesses. I pray for peace.
I have surfed the biggest waves in the world (and hit the beach with the wind knocked out of me and crying) and the smallest, (thanking God I lived) and felt the same general feeling each time. This time, this day, is mine. It is unlike any other and it is owned by me. After my day out in the surf, wind and cold I always find an Irish bar to celebrate my not drowning, with a cold Corona. My tales of the day are not grand. They are what they are and this makes me happy. Each time I sit back, enjoy new found friends, and breathe. I have done what is not natural to me and not only lived through it, but thrived on it. I have made my peace with my fears, my ghosts, and I have won. Today I am what I thought I would be.
As I drive home I wish, with all my heart, that the feeling would last forever, but I know it won’t. I know I must tempt fate, push the envelope and paddle when I’m scared and stand when I want to disappear to feel that I am alive.
I wonder if we all did this, went beyond our means, and lived outside the box (whatever that means), what the world would look like. At night, as I drift off to sleep I try to not only imagine this, but the many great days I have had out in the surf. Some would say that my greatest escape is neither great or an escape, but I would beg to differ. Unlike most days, my escapes provide an opportunity for me to live as I should, to the fullest extent of life. I go to the beach looking for peace and take from it energy, life and all that it has to offer. I take from it……well, I guess that is my secret. I will tell you this though, what I get out of it I take, it is not given, and it is between me and the ocean and She isn’t telling.
I wish you all a very happy and healthy holiday season. I hope you all find a small piece of time to enjoy your great escape, whatever it may be!
Merry Christmas!!
Christine Brooks
writer, small wave ambassador, grandma
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