I wonder, are You up there?
I sit still, in my bed and watch as Your shadow dances across the wall,
but I cannot see You.
Even if I was brave enough to get up, in this strange bed, in this house not my own,
to look up, I could not. This place we are staying in has no view of the sky, or of the stars,
or of the man in the moon.
I watch Your shadow though, and imagine that You can see me,
as I sleep, in this shelter that has given us a place to rest, I hope with all I have, that You are watching.
The night is dark, with no light from above.
I walk quickly and do not look anywhere but dead ahead.
It is cold, and wet, and no one sees me walk briskly through this neighborhood
that offers unrest, violence and poverty that words could never describe.
No one sees me, and I see no one.
I am there though, and like a lost ghost I go unnoticed, unseen and unfelt.
For the moment I am “un.”
Unhappy, uninspired, and uninterested.
I do not see You, or hear You.
Your shadow does not dance for me, and does not even stretch down so that I may cast one.
I walk quietly, cold and alone, and wonder.
Are You up there?
Everything is dark.
I think it is cold, but I am not sure. Is it snowing?
I wonder if anyone is out there?
I feel something, but it is not warmth. I ache to be touched, and held, but no one is there.
I cannot see, or hear, or feel much of anything.
I do know, somehow, that I am alone,
a small baby, born premature to a mother, young herself,
addicted to drugs, and also alone.
We are both barely there, barely breathing, unable to feel,
or hear, whoever it is that may be talking.
I do feel my heart beating, and know that soon it will stop,
and I hope I will be warm,
and not so alone.
I hope You see me down here, but since I cannot see You,
I wonder,
are You up there?
***************
Many children, in your own backyard will go without this holiday season.
Without proper Winter clothing, without food, and without a home.
I ask that everyone who reads this, pass it on and urge their friends and family to do something,
anything that will help.
Be bothered.
I am having a mitten, scarf, hat drive…if you don’t have anywhere to give please let me know I have a place to give whatever you may have, to a child, that has little. (I do practice what I preach and as I get older I pay more and more attention to what people do and less and less to what they say they do.) Live deliberately and with meaning…you never know who may be watching….
Peace, Chris
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